Developer(s) – 3Romans

Publisher(s) – Global Star Software

Released back in 2005 and seemingly taking a majority of influence from Destruction Derby, Ultimate Demolition Derby is a racing game featuring four distinct game modes and a cast of different characters to choose from. However, especially compared to most other racing games that had been and gone since before this title was released, it falls way below par with what I was expecting. I was perhaps anticipating playing a game made in the same vein as Destruction Derby. But with an interesting twist from what I’d read of it prior. But what it offers is an extremely limited and seemingly rushed gaming experience that fails in every aspect.

Graphics – 2/10

To begin with, the game’s visuals fail both on a technical and conceptual level. There are four tracks in the game. This, whilst comes with its own distinct features and art directions, still feels particularly empty and unimaginative. Especially compared to the likes of some of the best in the genre. Including Mario Kart 64, Diddy Kong Racing, and ModNation Racers.

Ostensibly, it doesn’t even hold up against the original two Destruction Derby games in terms of conceptual design. The game’s only remotely commendable feature is the small variety in car design. Each driver has a distinct car and theme to it. Like Twisted Metal but nowhere near as wonderfully varied. On certain levels, the frame rate also drops dramatically in courses where there isn’t even a great number of things included to seemingly eat up the game’s memory. This really made me wonder how that was possible whilst running on Windows XP. 

Gameplay – 1/10

As mentioned, there are four game modes to choose from in Ultimate Demolition Derby ranging from simple round-the-track races to battle mode, but the premise remains the same for all four game modes; the player must eliminate all the other opposing cars to have the best chance of winning. There are also weapons and items to be used in the game to maintain an advantage similar to Mario Kart.

Although so far I have loosely compared this game to the likes of Mario Kart and Twisted Metal, this game couldn’t hold a candle to either of them and where this is most evident is in the game’s play. Offering no purpose or incentive for winning whatsoever, there is no satisfaction to be had whilst playing, which is all the more unforgivable since this game came out in 2005 and by that time, the likes of Mario Kart: Double Dash and Gran Turismo 3 had come and gone and both those games, as well as many many other racing games that came before, had had insanely more to offer players than what they’re given with this sad excuse of a game. 

Controls – 4/10

The controls in the game are also a complete mess as the poor turning mechanics can force players to make one unintentional error after the other. It’s especially annoying since every course in the game has at least two ramps to drive over and the turning mechanics really cause a massive problem when the player is in mid-air. It also doesn’t help that it takes a  very small amount of damage for the car to explode. With these two faults combined, it almost makes the game unplayable; not that it is actually worth playing in the first place, of course. 

Originality – 0/10

As I mentioned before, the game’s only saving grace in terms of any aspect is the amount of variety in character design, but again, comparing it to the many racers that had come and gone by this time, it falls way too short of what any genuinely dedicated development team should strive to deliver to players. The courses have next to no originality about them either. Some of the original development team would later go on to contribute to later and better games, such as Lords of the Fallen, but this is definitely a dark stain on their CVs. San Francisco Rush makes this game look good. 

Overall, Ultimate Demolition Derby is one of the worst racing games I’ve ever played; if not the worst. It’s a lackluster game that fails to deliver in every single aspect and it deserves to be as thoroughly obscure as it is today. 

Score

7/40

1.5/10 (Painful)